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my childhood in anecdotes, part one.

November 2, 2011

I was kind of a weird kid growing up.

I suppose this should come as no surprise, seeing as how I’ve become kind of a weird adult.

Unlike my sister, who remembers the exact dates of snow days, I don’t remember the day to day goings on of my childhood. I do have some specific stories that I remember well, though. And the more I think about it, the more I come up with. Some make me seem stranger than others…

  • I loved the Wee Sing Sing-a-Long tapes growing up. One tape featured a song called “Sally’s Wearing a Red Dress” and every time it came on, I spazzed out until someone paused it for me. At which point I would run into my room, change into my red flannel nightgown and black patent leather shoes and come back out, singing along and changing Sally’s name to Jenny.
  • One Christmas when I was about 4 and my sister was almost 2, I opened all my presents in a hurry, exclaiming “It’s just what I’ve always wanted!” after each one. I then proceeded to throw a fit because I thought my sister got more presents than I did because she was opening them at a fraction of the pace I did. I remember this mostly because we have it on video and it’s hilarious to watch.
  • My first grade teacher once had to move my desk next to his because I wouldn’t stop talking to the kid who sat next to me. His name was Kory and I had a huge crush on him and he had a raging mullet. Luckily my 7 year old self had no idea what a mullet was.
  • In second grade, my teacher had to call my parents in for a conference because I wrote a story about going on a date with an older boy and how romantic it was that he blew in my ear. I still get completely embarrassed every time I think about that and I have no idea where I got the idea that ear blowing was romantic.
  • In third grade, it was my parents’ turn to call the school. A boy came into class one day and told everyone that he dreamt that me and Ollie “did it”. The boys in my class mocked me relentlessly for this, despite the fact that no one actually knew what “it” was. And of course, even at 9 years old, Ollie got off without any teasing whatsoever while I came home crying every day for a week.
  • In middle school, my idea of flirting was to take advantage of hitting puberty before the boys did and challenging them to arm wrestling matches, which I won every time. This didn’t work so well once we got into 8th grade, but I was the muscle of the 6th grade.
  • We went to Disney World when I was 8 years old. We were watching the fireworks at Magic Kingdom one night when I had to use the bathroom. My mother took me, and I ended up slamming my finger in the stall lock trying to get it to close. It was gross and bloody and I was crying and my mother told me to show it to her under the stall. So I did. Except not. I put my finger under the wrong side and showed some random stranger my mangled finger. I hope she wasn’t scarred for life by staring at some random kid’s disfigured finger while she peed.
That’s all I have for now, but I think that does a pretty good job of highlighting my weirdness as a kid. I feel like I should put these on the bottom of my affordable business cards for network purposes, but that probably wouldn’t go over very well. Instead I’ll keep track of any more I think of and share them later, but in the meantime…
Tell me your weird kid stories!

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Paula November 2, 2011 at 5:01 pm

I bit my sister on the leg once. She had a massive bruise for weeks. And also tried to spray hairspray in her eyes. Just because I could. And I kicked my little brother in a bad place just because I could – he hadn’t done anything wrong.

I was apparently quite a violent child. :-(
Paula´s last blog post ..MONDAY OBSERVATIONS…

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suki November 2, 2011 at 5:12 pm

I had detention in KINDERGARTEN because the boy across the table kept talking to me… and I talked to him b/c he was cute, only I got in trouble for it. :/
suki´s last blog post ..Wordless Wednesday – Big Sur 2006

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Kelly November 2, 2011 at 5:17 pm

Wee Sing Sing-a-long Songs was basically all I did for an entire year of my life (at least). “Bringing Home a Baby Bumblebee” may be the source of my fascination with bugs. Also, I had a phase in which all my stories ended with people dying. And sometimes having their coffins left on their parents doorstep. Clearly weird kids produce the best adults.
Kelly´s last blog post ..Twenty-seven

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Mary November 2, 2011 at 5:25 pm

I tripped over the edge of the sidewalk on April Fool’s Day in kindergarten and broke my arm. My dad was out of town in Boise, Idaho (for work) and when my mother took me to the ER, the nurses asked me if my mommy hit me because I had so many other bruises, they thought I was abused.

That’s more an accident-prone story than a weird one. My mom still tells everyone that I “was so brave, she never shed a tear!” Which is a bald-faced LIE, I still remember bawling “Mommy! It hurts!” all the way to the ER.

I think the ear blowing thing came from some TV show or movie…I remember something about that too. Happy Days maybe?

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Stevie November 2, 2011 at 6:33 pm

This is awesome. I loved the Wee Sing tapes, too! I think my mum still has all of them…

When I was 4, my older brother, a few neighborhood kids, and I broke into our neighbor’s house. We lived in military housing so no one locked their doors. We knew they had really good junk food, so we we walked in when they were gone. They also came home while we were in their house. Everyone found a hiding place except me. I was caught red-handed in the kitchen stuffing my face with a bag of pretzels.
Stevie´s last blog post ..Wine Wednesday

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Cara November 3, 2011 at 10:27 am

Dude. Sally’s red dress was my JAM!!! My aunt made me a replica of her dress for Easter one year – I still have it! I didn’t think any of my friends had ever heard of it. KUDOS. Also – wouldn’t it be epically weird if we could karaoke that?

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Peter November 3, 2011 at 4:28 pm

I wish I had something clever to say. Instead…

Mullet.
Peter´s last blog post ..overheard in the boudoir

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terra November 4, 2011 at 2:03 pm

I love this.

The kid I was in love with in 1st – 3rd grade, Lee Carter, had a rat tail. As did my step brother who I was also in love with for a while before our parents got hitched. The rat tails – they really got to little kid me, I guess.
terra´s last blog post ..{5 Points} Reasons I’m excited for the holidays.

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barak November 6, 2011 at 9:28 am

I had a group of friends, we could ourselfs a gang members. we entered one day to an house on construction, and found there a junky. My parents was pissed cause they found out that we talked to this guy :) i was the leader haha
barak´s last blog post ..Dog loss quotes

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Jessica November 6, 2011 at 5:55 pm

I think at one point, we all liked a boy with a mullet. We just didn’t know better. And seriously, seeing that picture of you makes me smile. Miss your face.

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Larissa November 6, 2011 at 6:18 pm

It seems like you had the best childhood ever! you are very lucky!
Larissa´s last blog post ..Fall 2011 MakeUp Trends

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Suburban Sweetheart November 8, 2011 at 4:38 pm

I was a big sleepwalker. I once came out into the hallway & told me dad, “Your boss called. He said you don’t have to come into work tomorrow.” He was so confused – and embarrassed when he called his boss the next morning to check. He had to go to work, of course. My bad.
Suburban Sweetheart´s last blog post ..A Passion for Bad Fashion, Pt. 2

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