“It’s because we have a female pilot. She’s probably doing her hair.”

“It’s because we have a female pilot. She’s probably doing her hair.”

Those words were actually spoken to me yesterday as I sat on a plane from Chicago to Atlanta, waiting for it to take off. We had pulled back from the gate yet hadn’t started for the runway, and it had reached that uncomfortable amount of time when people start fidgeting, myself included.

I think I even started the conversation with the man seated across the aisle from me, an older guy probably in his late 50s or early 60s, commenting how all of the waiting is why I hate flying so much.

“It’s because we have a female pilot. She’s probably doing her hair.”

I let out a half-laugh, half-cough in response, too in shock to put on my Serious Face so abruptly. We did indeed have a female pilot, but we clearly weren’t delayed due to her hair needs.

I recovered and responded to him, saying that I was personally offended by that and it was inappropriate, but it was too late. He thought I was joking and laughed me off.

I spent the rest of the flight brainstorming all the ways I wish I had handled the situation.

1. Stand up and announce his comment to the people seated around me, asking them if they thought that was an appropriate comment to make, and publicly shaming him for being so nonchalant with his misogyny.
2. Tell him I hope he doesn’t have daughters, because god forbid someone trivializes them after they’ve trained and mastered their profession like this woman clearly had.

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“Trophies are better seen, not heard.”

If you haven’t heard by now, Gisele is under fire for making comments about the Patriots’ loss in the Super Bowl last night. Her husband, Tom Brady, is the Pats quarterback and she was caught on camera saying that her husband cannot throw the ball and catch it at the same time, insinuating that the receivers should not have dropped the ball so much.

Out of context, it seems like a bitter comment to make. In context, it is clear that Gisele spoke these words quietly, and only after being heckled by bystanders as she left the game on Sunday. They’re comments that any frustrated fan would have made, and coming from the woman who emailed all her friends and family asking for prayers and support for her husband before his big game, it’s understandable that she was sad for him.

But apparently certain football fans think that a wife has no right to make those comments. Particularly a trophy wife such as Gisele.

This tweet showed up in my timeline this afternoon, and my jaw dropped.

A beautiful woman is not allowed to express her frustration and opinion simply because she is beautiful? She was merely put on this earth to stand there and look pretty? Being a supermodel immediately negates her intellect? I’m appalled.

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I’m far from a marginalized population. As an upper-middle class Caucasion with a private school education and a savings account, I can’t claim many hardships in my life. I am blessed, for sure. Maybe if my life had been harder, these small annoyances would roll off my back and I could move on with my day without feeling anger and rage boil up inside me. Instead, I feel compelled to speak out, louder and louder each time I encounter a situation in which my gender is trivialized, stereotyped or otherwise not taken seriously.

I don’t want to be the angry feminist. I don’t want to watch the Super Bowl commercials and dissect each one for its sexist overtones, subtle or overt. I don’t want to lecture strangers about the impact their comments and behavior have on those around them, especially children and especially their sons. I don’t want to go on dates and have men be scared off when these topics come up and I stand strong with my beliefs.

I want to laugh at jokes that are funny, jokes that don’t cater to the lowest common denominator of sexism. I want to experience a man who is turned on by my strength and power, not intimidated by it or judgmental of it. I want to be able to be emotional without having someone belittle my feelings by writing me off for PMS.

I don’t think these are unreasonable things to want, but they are proving difficult to find. And so I become the angry feminist. The one constantly lecturing and calling out and being disappointed, and I will continue to do so in the desperate hope that one day it will trickle down somewhere and have an impact on someone. Anyone.

Tagged as: feminism, women's rights, working girl